For whatever reason, I have missing Dad like I haven't missed him in a long time. I have no idea what spurred this latest emotional meltdown but I can't stop crying and decided to blog so at least it's out of my mind. My mind is a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts, wishes, dreams which will never come to pass. I have dreams in which he is alive and when I wake, he is not there and I lose him all over again. I cannot focus on anything else, I need a change of scenery, a new energy a new aura. But where to go? Where to start? I need to release this latest emotional diatribe but I can't just yet. I feel dead...hollow....broken.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
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I lost my father 15 years ago, and it still hurts today. There's a hole inside that will never be filled. Every now and then I sink into that hole and feel so alone, so hopeless... A friend of mine once said He's not really gone. He's in our hearts, our minds, our body.. He'll never really leave, and even if we somehow forget, he'll still be there. Watching over us... I don't know if that helps.
ReplyDeleteYou've got loving friends who support you. I hope you can feel better soon, Julie.
Sincerely
Abby Gardner
It is difficult to lose our compass. But I am sure you Dad, like mine, taught you a lot about the world, whether it was directly taught, or taught through actions....
ReplyDeleteMissing someone is normal...even YEARS after.
And I like Abby's post.....and I believe Abby when she says he's still here. I believe my father sees his grandchildren, watches over us...sees my accomplishments.
Your Dad is probably doing the same my dear...and smiling, I am sure.
:)