Loneliness, thy name is Julia

I don't know what's wrong with me these days. The last few months I have been extremely lonely and have regressed back to my old ways of being anti-social. I would rather read a book or sleep than be around people and I just feel like I don't really belong here anymore. I don't like going to bars or the pub and I feel really insecure about myself a lot when people are around.

I am starting to disconnect from everything here and even disconnecting from things at home. My head space is not where it was a year ago and I am not happy. There's no one I can really talk to, not here, not at home. I wear a mask to survive as I always have, though those closest to me don't even know it and if they do, they don't ask.

Being the daughter of an artist, I know what it is to be different. Add in a disability and a shy nature and you've got the makings of the perfect introvert. I spend so much time on my own, I think a lot, too much and that needs to be addressed. One day perhaps. What I need most in the world is to be back among the wild rice, the call of the loon, the glorious sunsets that light up the sky with every sherbet colour you can imagine and the lights, those lights which dance in green and purple dresses in the heavens, those dresses which get more and more beautiful the further north you go. That is where my spirit can take flight and that is where it can soar.